Content warning: mention of miscarriage
My name is Theo Robinson, and I am the new incumbent at St. Peter’s, Quamichan in North Cowichan. I have been asked to tell you the story of how I came to be where I am today. Because it’s important to my story, I need to preface by mentioning that I am transgender.
I was born into a life of privilege with my father, a pediatrician, and my mother, who retired from nursing in order to stay home and raise my brother and me. We lived in an upper-class area in a big house, with two cars, every new gadget we could ever want and annual trips to places like Disney World and Hawaii. I have come to realize that I grew up in a suburban bubble, sheltered from the world outside my neighbourhood.
I was brought up in the Roman Catholic faith, mostly because of my paternal grandmother. I spent all of my childhood attending St. Bernadette’s Parish with her, primarily because she would take me out for lunch afterwards. I remember attending a Bible class with my friends and taking catechism at school, but my religious faith was built almost entirely from Sunday morning church with my grandma.
As I grew into my teenage years, I supposedly found better things to do with my time than sit at church. I also started to question what I had been learning. I got it into my head that I wasn’t allowed to believe in both science and religion, and so I stopped going to church. Also, in my early twenties when I realized I was a lesbian, I felt so unwelcomed by the church that I convinced myself I was a non-believer.
However, there were still times when I went to church, usually during occasions of sorrow or confusion. I never could explain my need to go to church, and it certainly didn’t make me go on a regular basis. But for brief, inexplicable moments, I found peace. The most significant time I found peace at church was after my miscarriage, ten weeks into my pregnancy.
There was no known cause, of course, but I was convinced that I had done something wrong. I was shocked beyond belief and had no idea what to do. My partner at the time suggested that I go to church. It was an unusual suggestion as they did not believe in God, but I figured it wouldn’t do any harm. We attended a Baptist service at a church nearby. All I remember is the music and the feeling of peace that washed over me as I cried through the entire service. It was a moment that turned me back towards God and the church.
Not too long afterward, I got pregnant again and gave birth to my beautiful baby, El. Suddenly, it was very important that my child be baptized and raised in a church. During the baptismal interview, I was asked a very important question: why do I want El to be baptized? I couldn’t answer that question right away, I just knew it was something I had to do, something my heart was telling me to do.
I started attending church — only the quiet, contemplative Monday night service at first. I was very hesitant in the beginning, unsure of my beliefs and my reasons for being there. I didn’t even take part in communion at first. The turning point came on Maundy Thursday during the Easter season following Elly’s baptism. I was asked to read the passage from 1 Corinthians 11:23-26. I think I hesitated somewhere around “This is my body.” The realization of the words I was about to speak struck me speechless. The eucharistic prayer is such an important part of Jesus’ story; I was humbled and honoured to be speaking these words aloud. In my head these words should have only been spoken by priests. Suddenly, I felt something on my shoulder. I looked over but of course there was no one there. It was a very powerful moment. I knew in my heart God was telling me it was okay to go on with the reading.
That’s when I really started paying attention. I learned the Lord’s Prayer as a child, but I never really listened to the words. Same with the music. As I started really hearing the words, I finally understood what God has been trying to say to me all these years. God is here. God wants to be a part of my life. God loves me.
It wasn’t long after that I felt the call to God’s work. After many conversations with my priest, I decided to attend the University of Winnipeg to attain a master of divinity and pursue ordination. This was a complete about-face from my work as a credit and collection specialist! I was ordained a transitional deacon on May 1, 2019, and a priest on January 18, 2020. I tell people that I grew up as a priest during the pandemic!
My first two calls in the Diocese of Rupert’s Land were half-time at one parish and half-time in a Lutheran shared ministry of six parishes. By the beginning of 2022, I was full-time at the shared ministry. Being in the Diocese of Islands and Inlets with only one parish is quite different but also comes with challenges that I have not yet had to face in my prior placements.
I have a partner, Cass, and two children who have stayed in Winnipeg to complete their various school endeavours. We also have two dogs and two cats. Cass is planning to join me within five years or so. We will see how many animals come with her! Prayers are appreciated as we go through this time of challenging transition. And while it is very hard to be away from my family, I am happy to be at St. Peter’s and look forward to many years as their incumbent.
