Dr. Gordon Smith was one of the speakers at our incredible 2025 We Together conference. He shared a story of how when he retired from his role as the president of a university, a mentor gave him succinct and wise advice:
“No accumulated grievances.”
As someone whose daily prayers include “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” these words should not have stung in the way that they did. But they have stayed with me and caused me to do some soul searching. Like many of you, my Christmas season includes time with family. It helped me to have a little “no accumulated grievances” talk with myself before launching myself into the joys and challenges of family life.
As bishop, I would also invite the diocese, in 2026, to do our best to let go of our accumulated grievances as we launch ourselves into the joys and challenges of church life.
We can only, as people of God, as church, move at the speed of trust. We can only move into the bright future that God is always and everywhere calling us to when we are brave enough to talk about and then let go of our accumulated grievances.
It is not unusual, when I am talking with parishes about possible changes they might be called to undertake, for grievances from 5, 10, even 20 years ago to surface. Parishes and individuals lost trust in the diocese, in the bishop, in the clergy, in each other, in a neighboring parish, often for good reason. But those grievances are hindering them from having the trust and good will to move forward today.
As we begin 2026, I invite all of us in the diocese to be honest, with ourselves and one another about our accumulated grievances. Then find ways to do the work of truth telling, repentance and forgiveness. For, if I have learned anything about accumulated grievances it is that they are a heavy burden. They slow us down and get in our way. We need to let go of them if we are going to have the courage and strength to move into the bright future that God is always and everywhere calling us to.
Lisa Alexander is our canon for pastoral support. She has extensive experience in communication, conflict resolution and reflective practice. I have asked Lisa to write a column in Faith Tides each month (Learning to be curious). Lisa has a lot to offer all of us as we do the life-giving and challenging work of forming healthy communities of faith.
At Epiphany we hear how the wise men, having seen the Christ child, went home by another road. May we to have the courage to set aside what is holding us back and walk on whatever new roads God is calling us to in 2026.
